One Tough Bubba
The room was literally packed in the tiny Northeast Detroit home on Christmas eve 1969. The smell of mushroom soup and sauerkraut was overwhelming to my young nose. The older kids were jammed on the couch and the younger cousins were seated crossed legged on the floor. A total of 14 grandkids belonging to Bubba, our beloved grandmother. The light from dad’s Super 8 camera was blinding and most the kids held their hands out to block the piercing light.
Karen was one of the few unaffected by the light and seemed drawn to the camera. She entertained the crowd with the cutest wiggle and dance that usually concluded with a flip of her tiny dress to show her frilled underwear. Uncle Leo had a beer in his right hand and was using his left hand to add a visual to his well timed “dad” joke. Uncle Andy stood against the wall with his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face. You could see the pride in his eyes as he watched his 8 kids get ready to open Bubba’s Christmas present.
Cousin Peter handed out the presents and began the countdown. As the countdown reached zero a fury began and wrapping paper went flying everywhere. The older kids knew exactly what was coming but played along with the anticipation. One at a time the grandkids flashed their gift to the camera and laughter filled the room. 14 pairs of pajamas were revealed, just like the year before, and the year before that, and so on.
I didn’t know it at the time but Bubba was teaching me one of life’s greatest lessons. It was something I preached to every team I ever coached. Consistency and persistence will overcome undisciplined talent every time, embrace the grind.
She stood only 5’4, had a slight curvature on her upper back and always wore rounded glasses. Regardless if she was reading, cooking or crocheting she seemed locked in and focused. Her voice was soft and comforting and she spoke at a very steady pace. She was the epitome of consistency.
Bubba was challenged as a single working parent in the 1940’s. A time in which single parenting was extremely rare. Dad spoke of giving her a ride to work many a day on the handlebars of his bike. A meager salary as a pharmacy clerk, she got bye and managed her money well. Year after year the money saved allowed her to gift birthday cards (money included) and Christmas presents to her grandkids.
Young and dumb I gracefully took the gifts and thanked her, never realizing the true value behind them. The value of working through life’s roadblocks and obstacles. The value of a consistent daily work ethic to produce small victories. The value of stacking small victories repetitively to produce a magnified outcome. Bubba was the champion of life.
In the world of amateur athletics, this lesson might be slipping away very rapidly. The playing field is now littered with NIL money and the transfer portal. Many athletes solve problems with simple avoidance. If things are not going well at school A, they choose to transfer and move on to school B. I understand completely that some player/coach matchups are toxic, and it is the best interest of an athlete to move on. But when these moves become repetitive and habitual, the athlete will never build problem solving skills.
Skills that are critical to a well-balanced life when athletics move into the rear-view mirror. I often preached to my teams that the greatest value athletics can teach is the ability to self-evaluate and create plans for self-improvement. If the answer to rising problems at a school is to leave for greener grass, this muscle is never flexed.
I have been blessed to coach at the high school level my entire career. One thing I have become more comfortable with as I get older is sharing my honest evaluation of an athlete to both him/her and the parents. I feel it is a true injustice to paint any picture that distorts reality. In my heart I believe that is the right thing for a coach to do especially if the athlete wants to compete at the next level.
Validation of this process has occurred when former athletes share their excitement of “finding the right fit” for them. Whether it is from other athletes or parents, sometimes the vision is tunneled by unrealistic dreams of a full ride, or a D1 ride. True joy comes to the athlete who enjoys the entire scholar/athlete experience. An experience that builds skills that allow them to attack the world outside of organized sports.
As the city of Detroit and Bubba’s neighborhood eroded in the 70’s, she moved down to Ohio with Uncle Andy, her daughter Rose and the Kralik family. The Christmas eve tradition faded but Bubba would visit Michigan when able. Cousin Mark and I drove her back one year and Bubba’s focus was well on display. From the back seat, she locked in on the speedometer and any time Mark and I exceeded the limit she gave immediate feedback. Another beautiful memory that Bubba gifted us. Another lesson on consistency, persistence, and willpower. Thank you Bubba for the great memories and lessons taught. A grinder by definition, but a loving grandma to me. PS Bubba, I am writing this blog in my Lions pajamas!!!!